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Let's go grab some Frostys and then bang." Socially competent people know to just ask someone out to dinner and then let the banging happen organically.13. There's no shame in being unemployed for a stretch or getting paid under the counter.

But if he's describing himself as an "entrepreneur" and refuses to get more detailed or refers to his job situation as "complicated" instead of being up front, that should be a red flag. Either he's seeing someone else and doesn't want to be spotted out with another woman in his hometown, he doesn't see a future with you and doesn't want you knowing where he lives just so he can keep his distance, or he's basically a hoarder and he doesn't want you to see the state his place is in.

A strategically placed bulb—positioned to one side of the subject, and just above eye level—brightens one half of the face while casting a slimming pyramid of light on the opposite, shadowed side. A glow to rival that of the Dutch master's radiant —handmaiden not included. Back at home, I try doubling up on light to deliver an overexposed Terry Richardson look (sans nudity).

I take a seat in my living room with a large window to my right and an adjustable floor lamp directly left of me, at face level, and I swap my old fluorescent bulb for a more forgiving 35-watt frosted halogen one.

She tells me to begin with natural lighting, near a window if possible—"there's no better source than the sun"—since artificial overheads can accentuate dark circles and wrinkles."Think about movies, when a criminal is being interrogated," Phan says.

"There's just one spotlight on the suspect, and it never looks good." Lighting from below is similarly unflattering.

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The Rembrandt triangle appears on my right side—success! According to Phan, "The closer your face is to the camera, the more it can be distorted." Regardless of whether you're using a laptop, i Pad, or phone, Phan suggests creating some distance.But the new guy in my life happens to be a world traveler, and old-school telecommunication has begun to seem almost as antiquated as mailing a letter—without the writerly romance.Rather than risk letting my new fling lose momentum or, worse, fizzle out in a string of missed calls and lackluster text messages, I resolve to master the perfect video chat. Unlike Instagram, the myriad video apps on the market don't offer dreamy, skin-perfecting filters.You shouldn't be one to judge a book by its cover, obviously, but if he's actively trying to deceive people, that says a lot about his personality. And to be totally fair, physical chemistry is still important.16. If he talks to you constantly but doesn't meet up, or have social media profiles, or ever want to video chat ... Start doing reverse image searches (and don't forget to flip the image in case he's doing the same thing to throw you off the scent).

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