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If the primary objective of your festival experience this summer is to hook up, you should first do some research into the type of people that attend the festival(s) you have in mind.

For instance, if you don’t like coked-out A&R dudes, then you probably should avoid SXSW, and if the idea of a white guy with dreads wearing a tutu and a metal eyepatch isn’t your thing, then maybe steer clear of Burning Man.

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But remember, a festival is like a war zone: You can’t go in unprepared.

However, if you love hipster appropriation of indigenous peoples’ culture, then you should definitely hit Coachella.

I spent my late teens and early twenties in England, which is a mecca for music festivals. (In hindsight this seems bizarre to me, given that I now find live music quite painful, large crowds give me anxiety, and you literally couldn’t pay me to sleep in a tent.) The problem with Maria as a festival partner, however, was that there was a roughly 90 percent chance that at some point in the evening she would disappear with a random 19-year-old.

Young Sex Tube – incredible place where you can unwind after troublesome workday.

There are such a large number of sweet high schooler young ladies of legitimate age sitting tight for you to have magnificent time together and each of them is anticipating do her best for you.

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